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Mom and Neil had some water in their basement the other day so all of us went over to help them out. Byron, Laura, Ingrid and I all pitched in to vacuum up as much water as we could and get the wet stuff out of the house. Among the stuff we found this joke from a long time ago. It made me laugh and so, thinking that we could all use a few laughs these days, I thought I’d post it here.

The new priest was so nervous at his first mass, he could hardly speak. Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor how he could relax. The Monsignor said, “Next Sunday it may help if you put some vodka in the water pitcher. After a few sips, everything should go smoothly.

The next Sunday the new priest put the suggestion into practice and was able to talk up a storm. He felt great! However, upon returning to the rectory, he found a note from the Monsignor.

1. Next time sip rather than gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T”.

5. The recommended grace before meals is not “Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub…Yeah God!”

6. Do not refer to our savior Jesus Christ and his apostles as “J.C. and the boys”

7. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

8. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are never referred to as “Big Daddy, Junior and the Spook”.

9. It’s always the Virgin Mary, never Mary with the cherry.

10. Last, but not least, next Wednesday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter’s not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.


Written by barrentine

January 11, 2009 at 12:40 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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